A few days ago I attended the funeral of a dear friend. The church was filled with people who had known and loved her over the years. Her daughters and grandchildren were seated in the front rows, touched by the outpouring of support for their quiet, reserved grandmother.

During the sermon, I glanced at them from time to time, wondering especially what was going through the heads of the handsome, young adult grandsons seated in the front row. I wondered if they were churchgoers, if they believed in the God being spoken of so reverently and theologically by the retired bishop who giving the eulogy. Statistically, I knew the odds were against it, and in fact, conversation over lunch revealed church was not part of their lives.

When we attend a funeral we want to encounter the person who has died in stories and memories, in the shared experience of the people in the room. I wondered if my friend’s grandchildren felt they were a part of the common experience, or if the language, tone and rituals left them feeling like invisible strangers. I wished someone, somewhere along the line, had thought to create a broader culture of grief, one that could include a wider range of vision and experience of those attending. A vision that could embrace the very real questions of where my friend is now, how she may have been supported during her exceptionally pain-filled life, and whether we had a means of honoring and remembering her legacy in the years ahead.

Are there moments when you are especially aware of a disconnect between your understanding of life and faith and another’s, between your tradition and another perspective on faith? A moment when you wish you had a more whole response, not to evangelize but perhaps to provide more common ground or comfort?

If you do, please note them in the comment section below. In September we will begin a series of conversations on how we can more skillfully create safe space for conversations about spirituality. Specific moments and memories you share can help us sharpen our focus and guide us as we shape our plan.

Your wisdom and experience are important - thank you!